Womans Hour

Usually one of my favourite programmes but just lately it's been a real turn off. Why? The producers have jumped on the 'as it's Christmas lets put everyone under pressure' band wagon. Yesterday, 23rd December, they had a phone-in with Agony Aunt, Deidre Sanders, on how to survive Christmas with the extended family. On 3rd December they had Delia answering cooking queries. Participants frequently used the phrase 'I want it to be perfect'. Why can't people accept that life happens? Save me from idiots!

On Reacting to Negative People - What Does It Achieve?

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, they can't take things in stride, they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. Dealing with these people can be quite a challenge. Negative people drain one's energy, deeply unhappy people will want to bring others down so that they are not suffering alone. Reacting is a waste of time because when people initiate negativity it is a reflection of their inner state. It’s not personal but it is easy to take it personally. Our ego likes problems and conflict, people are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to take others down with them. It is very easy to respond impulsively but it is not the smart thing to do. It does however feed our ego’s need for conflict. When we fight back, it feels really satisfying in our heads but it doesn’t feel very good in our soul. When we respond irrationally it turns the conversation from a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It becomes an unnecessary and unproductive battle for 'Who is Right'? When we’re emotionally charged, we are so much in our heads that we argue out of an impulse to be right, to defend ourselves, for the sake of our egos. Rationality and resolution can rarely arise out of an argument.