People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, they can't take things in stride, they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance.
Dealing with these people can be quite a challenge. Negative people drain one's energy, deeply unhappy people will want to bring others down so that they are not suffering alone.
Reacting is a waste of time because when people initiate negativity it is a reflection of their inner state. It’s not personal but it is easy to take it personally.
Our ego likes problems and conflict, people are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to take others down with them.
It is very easy to respond impulsively but it is not the smart thing to do.
It does however feed our ego’s need for conflict. When we fight back, it feels really satisfying in our heads but it doesn’t feel very good in our soul. When we respond irrationally it turns the conversation from a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It becomes an unnecessary and unproductive battle for 'Who is Right'?
When we’re emotionally charged, we are so much in our heads that we argue out of an impulse to be right, to defend ourselves, for the sake of our egos. Rationality and resolution can rarely arise out of an argument.
Friday 11 December 2009
On Reacting to Negative People - What Does It Achieve?
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, they can't take things in stride, they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance.
Dealing with these people can be quite a challenge. Negative people drain one's energy, deeply unhappy people will want to bring others down so that they are not suffering alone.
Reacting is a waste of time because when people initiate negativity it is a reflection of their inner state. It’s not personal but it is easy to take it personally.
Our ego likes problems and conflict, people are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to take others down with them.
It is very easy to respond impulsively but it is not the smart thing to do.
It does however feed our ego’s need for conflict. When we fight back, it feels really satisfying in our heads but it doesn’t feel very good in our soul. When we respond irrationally it turns the conversation from a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It becomes an unnecessary and unproductive battle for 'Who is Right'?
When we’re emotionally charged, we are so much in our heads that we argue out of an impulse to be right, to defend ourselves, for the sake of our egos. Rationality and resolution can rarely arise out of an argument.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
This is a very good piece of descriptive writing and lays out unemotionally the problems faced dealing with negativity. It is true that it brings others down also, if they have a tendency to feeling depressed and unhappy. One has also to be ware of the individual who lives with negative thoughts as a way of life and cannot be otherwise. They could be considered 'sadly happy,' but the effect on others is irritating in the extreme. Great Post, Liz.
Yes, That's the same problem with me, the comments they give drain me out and cling to me for a long long time. I feel frustrated too, but you know I try to be positive, understanding and loving. I try not to argue because, as you say, they have very low tolerance! I myself have a written a post on it, would be glad, if you check it out here
Post a Comment